Friday, December 25, 2009

Random Yuletide Thoughts


Again, in the same vein as the previous posting, here are a few more random thoughts concerning Yuletide.

1. I have noticed a marked difference between the kinds of Christmas cards that my English friends send and the ones which my American friends send. (My family lived in the UK back in 1980 and I still receive cards from them almost 30 yrs. later.) For example, the British ones are almost without exception, printed by small craft guilds which specialize in things like fighting poverty in Africa, providing flood relief for the tsunami victims in Indonesia, sustainable development for poor countries, Oxfam, World Mission, etc. etc.. The people who send such cards relate in painstaking detail their past year taking eco-vactions in South America, shearing sheep in New Zealand, and helping to evangelize Muslims in London or Marseilles. There is usually a quote from Corrie Ten Boom or John Stott, and a photo of a foreign locale.

The Christmas cards from my American friends either consists of a picture of the entire extended family at the recent July family reunion taken at Gulf Shores where they all enjoyed a giant crawfish boil, or a photoshopped picture of Alabama football coach Nick Saban wearing a Santa hat.

Different cultures, I guess.

2. One of my favorite Christmas memories involve pulling out the old 33 1/3 record albums with "all the stars" singing their Christmas favorites. These stars included Burl Ives, Theodore Bikel, Jim Nabors, and Steve and Eydie Gorme. The records were usually given away for free with a fill-up at the local Gulf station.

3. On Christmas eve and into Christmas day, I noticed that one of the national cable TV channels was running Jean Shepherd's annual classic, "A Christmas Story" ('you'll shoot your eye out', etc.) continuously. Although an enjoyable movie, this idea is just about as bad as the local Miami radio station which played Glenn Frey's "Smuggler's Blues" continously for one whole day (or for the better part of a day) back in the 1980's.

Sometimes, too much of a good thing is exactly that.

4. Here is the authentic recipe for stuffed roast pig, a 15th century English favorite at Christmas, as taken from www.godecookery.com.

Pygge y-farsyd (Roast Pig)

PERIOD: England, 15th century | SOURCE: Harleian MS 279 | CLASS: Authentic
DESCRIPTION: Stuffed roasted pig
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ORIGINAL RECEIPT:
.xxxiij. Pygge y-farsyd. Take raw Eyroun, & draw hem þorw a straynoure; þan grate fayre brede; take Safroun & Salt, & pouder of Pepir, & Swet of a schepe, & melle alle to-gederys in a fayre bolle; þen broche þin Pygge; þen farce hym, & sewe þe hole, & lat hym roste; & þan serue forth.

- Austin, Thomas. Two Fifteenth-Century Cookery-Books. Harleian MS. 279 & Harl. MS. 4016, with extracts from Ashmole MS. 1429, Laud MS. 553, & Douce MS 55. London: for The Early English Text Society by N. Trübner & Co., 1888.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

GODE COOKERY TRANSLATION:

Stuffed Pig. Take raw eggs, and pass them through a strainer; then grate good bread; take Saffron & Salt, & powder of Pepper, & Suet of a sheep, & mix all together in a good bowl; then put the Pig on a spit; then stuff him, & sew the hole (shut), & let him roast; & then serve forth.

They don't do 'em like that anymore!

5. I always remember the annual Perry Como Christmas Special in which he would sing holiday standards whilst lying in his bed, with the covers pulled up. Needless to say, it was a bit soporific, and I usually turned the channel to Mannix instead.

6. Although they have since been banned as constituting a severe fire hazard, I always enjoyed the large yellow, green, orange, pink, red and blue lights which were wrapped around the Christmas tree. They were replaced with the small non-flammatory plastic type lights, which are admittedly safer, but much less satisfying.

7. Whenever I go to Wal-Mart, Target or any other fine retail establishment, I fully expect every employee there to wish me a "merry Christmas" and usually become extremely angry when that fails to materialize.

Our once proud country will never become great again until the lowly workers once more say "merry Christmas" at the cash register after ringing up the sale.

8. Most Christmas pilots for TV shows were very successful and set the tone for the upcoming weekly show, i.e., The Walton's Homecoming Christmas special and the pilot for Kojak, "Yule's Gambit." (Yul Brynner played the original Kojak in the pilot, later replaced by Telly Savalas; just as Patricia Neal played the original Mrs. Walton, replaced by Michael Learned for the regular series.)

However, a notable failure in this regard was "Elf Cola" starring the irrepressible Billy Barty. The Christmas special was excellent, resulting in an early 70's novelty song holiday hit of the same title, but the weekly show failed miserably and is now regarded as the absolute nadir of television viewing.

9. Speaking of The Walton's Homecoming Christmas special, do you remember that famous scene where Mrs. Walton (Patricia Neal) could not stand the fact that John-Boy (Richard Thomas) constantly retreated to his room, and so forced the issue in order to discover his multitude of diaries in which he wondered aloud of the nature of the "ocean" and whether he would ever get to see an ocean? etc..

Mrs. Walton (Neal) then shamefacedly growled out "John-Boy, I do vow!" And so her morbid curiousity was sated....for a season.

10. I also remember the old Jackson (MS) radio personality, Farmer Jim Neal, on WSLI, who used to play novelty songs at Christmas time, most notably, the irresistable "Jingle Bell Dogs". Even at a relatively early age, I knew that the dogs were not actually barking in musical unison, and the whole thing was most likely effected through overdubs and taping effects, but I always suspended my disbelief, if only for a short time, and yielded my soul to the wonder of a group of dogs belting out a truly American classic.

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Random Thoughts and Historical Occurrences (ala Thomas Sowell and Larry King)


Every so often, political and cultural columnist Thomas Sowell will publish an article entitled "Random Thoughts", in which he states in snippet form, a random assortment of things which occurred to him recently. Since I've had writers block for awhile, I decided to imitate Sowell (such as I can) in the same manner, as well as the old Larry King sports column often expressed in selfsame fashion. So here are a few random thoughts with relation to the historical past. (The Piggly Wiggly logo relates to the 'small town grocery store' post-#3)

1. Although many decry the occasional outbreak of violence and 'thuggery' in modern pro sports (etc., NBA, NFL, hockey, etc.), a cursory glance at history will show that spectator sports nowadays resemble a church picnic compared to some of the spectacles of yesteryear. For example, Ty Cobb of the old Detroit Tigers in the early 1900's, would be arrested in put in prison if he played today and did the same things he did then (beating and kicking a handicapped heckler unconcscious, etc. etc.), and you took your life in your hands if you attended a Giants-Cubs match in 1904.

2. Speaking of the American pastime, what are the chances that Lou Gehrig should contact, of all things, Lou Gehrig's disease? (Also, isn't it strange that Cy Young, by all accounts, the greatest hurler of them all, never once won the Cy Young award!)

3. Although I confess to shopping at Wal-Mart for convenience and quantity pricing, I miss the 'small town' grocery store which is slowly being squeezed out of the picture. Good old local chains like Piggly Wiggly, Sunflower, et al, used to represent the heart and soul of the town. I worked at a Piggly Wiggly in high school many years ago, and remember vividly the colorful characters about whom "anecdotes clustered like barnacles" (to quote Eugene Peterson) who were regular customers such as Chew Brown, the elderly African American purveyor of "mule tobacco" and P.T. Barnum, the cigar smoking dispenser of wisdom and procurer of Manteca lard and Jax beer.

4. I remember reading of the sad case of a Baptist pastor in Texas who was divested from his pulpit and thrown out of his church after he was caught "giving the devil his due." Well, there but for the grace of God, go all of us, I guess......

5. I've got a crazy idea, but it just might work.

6. President Obama did not deserve to win the Nobel Peace Prize, although he gave a fairly good speech in Oslo. It was much better than his speech at West Point.

7. I'm very glad that Mark Ingram of Alabama won the 2009 Heisman Trophy. He deserved it, although Colt McCoy of Texas has the best name, by far. (My favorite all time name is "Angelo Dundee", the former trainer for Muhammed Ali.)

8. The New Orleans Saints are now 13-0 having defeated Atlanta. I remember the old time "Aints" and poor Archie Manning spending every game running for his life. Besides Tom Dempsey kicking his 63 yard game winning field goal in 1970, the Saints possessed very few memories in their first 30 years worth putting onto the highlight reel. (Yes, I remember Chuck Muncie and Ricky Jackson)

9. Speaking of the Superdome (relatively speaking), I have a "good news-bad news" story: The bad news is that I had to spend Hurricane Katrina inside the Superdome amidst the filth, heat and squalor. The good news is that I had seats right on the 50 yard line for the entire time.

10. According to Teddy White, then candidate for President, Ronald Reagan, at the 1980 New Hampshire/Nashua debate in which he grabbed the microphone after the moderator John Breen threatened to shut it off, referred to Mr. Breen as "Mr. Green." I myself, had always thought it was "Green" also, so I feel better as I am in good company!