Balm in Gilead- Alabama's 2008 Season

Although 2008 has turned out to be the worst year for the worldwide economy in decades with falling stock prices, rising unemployment and shrinking credit, the oasis in the desert is the incredible year that the Alabama Crimson Tide has had. At 11-0, Bama's own stock has soared and Saban's squad is set to settle a 6 year old score with Auburn in the Iron Bowl on Nov. 29 and will put the hurt on Florida's Tebow and Company in the SEC Championship Game on Dec. 6. On top of that, it's been a bear market for Auburn while the bottom has literally dropped out for the Unv. of Tennessee.

I know that bad news sells papers and delivers the ratings for the news channels, but the nationwide media seems to have missed Bama's return to college football dominance, an event which has served to offer a lantern on the levee in the midst of the Mississippi river fog, a cordial at the beggar's banquet, and an offering of sausage, potatoes and good vodka in the midst of gruel and thin watery cabbage soup and nauseating hard black bread in Zhukov's ranks at the western front.

Cliche Watch: Discounting the title which is of course, originally Biblical and as filtered down via Poe's Raven, there are at least 7 cliches in this post. Can you spot them?

October 13, 2008- Where Were You When You Heard the News?

One's initial reception of news of sudden and catastrophic events are always remembered in vivid detail. For example, everyone can remember exactly where they were and what they were doing when they first heard the news of the 9-11 terrorist attacks, just like everybody can describe their initial emotional reaction to the news of the death of President Kennedy. (I was reading a child's biography of JFK in 1971 or 1972 when I first heard of his assassination.)

For years now, the same question will be asked concerning the surreal announcement (first reported on Fox News, secondly on CNN) at approximately 1:30 CST (2:30 EST) that presidential candidate Barack Obama reportedly gained an entire percentage point lead over rival John McCain in the key battleground state of Virginia. (from 4 to 5%). In the words of Milton, "At once and at the trumpets' resound, the cymbal's/ aching crash, the world turned straight 'round."

On a personal note, my initial reaction to hearing this news was one of numbness and disbelief. Can this really be happening? I didn't want to accept an entire percentage point gain by the Dems especially in a state that Republicans have won in 5 of the last 8 elections. Further, McCain has gained a half of a percentage point in Michigan and Obama's poll numbers were reportedly starting to slide a bit in Ohio. I reasoned that a long walk in the (political) woods of 24/7 cable news accompanied by much wrestling with my thoughts and emotions was the only appropriate remedy to this bitter blow. After all, hasn't Chris Matthews assured us that "politics is life itself"?

Life will eventually return to normalcy as always, although everything has now changed forever.

In Search Of Bobby Fischer

The world of chess has taken a backseat in the media in the past few years, especially compared to glamour of yesteryear as regards the sport. In 1972, when Bobby Fischer beat Boris Spassky, millions across the world were riveted to their television as ABC's Jim McKay announced every move. Earlier still, 'old-timers' will not soon forget the tension of the old 'Soviet Test Matches' in which stalwarts such as Mikhail Tal and Mikhail Botvinnik dueled to the death in 1960, every move of which was broadcast over the radio airwaves, and families from Leningrad to Cedar Rapids, Iowa planned their suppers and dinners around the matches and listened intently with their Philco radio.

However, as with everything else, much has changed, and even the great Garry Kasparov now spends most of his time denouncing (probably heroically and correctly) President Putin, rather than slicing up unfortunate opponents with his famous Queens Gambit Declined. There are a few bright spots on the chess horizon however, one of which is a bright up and coming star from the hills of eastern Kentucky, of all places. Jimmy Ray Hayley (pictured above, at left) is a raw, untamed chess player which some have compared to the great Fischer in his prime. While not sharing Fischer's schizophrenia or virulent anti-Semitism, Hayley has displayed an unfortunate weakness for Falstaff beer, and eating obscene quantites of pork brisket and hoop cheese. Hayley also has a marked tendency to engage in needless 'trash talk' after he smashes his opponent, often through a clearly marked 'Scholars Mate'.

Hayley has won his divisions easily, and hopes to travel to Moscow this fall in order to 'throw down the gauntlet' to the great Kasparov, possibly for a best 3 out of 4 match set. Check your local ESPN listings for the possible times, because you will kick and claw yourself if you miss it.

Chop Suey Made Purely By Occident.

The other day while surveying my vast estate, I happened upon and dusted off the old boardgame, "Chop Suey", which was an exhilarating Chinese-American version of the old Parker Brothers classic, "Monopoly." The object of "Chop Suey" was to acquire as many Chop Suey restaurants in San Francisco's famous 'Chinatown,' while crushing all competition. Instead of a racecar, Scottie dog, thimble, tophat and cane, the tokens employed by 'Chop Suey' consisted of a rickshaw, Shi Tzu, fortune cookie, pair of black horned rimmed glasses, and expertly tailored Hong Kong suit, among other things.

There were, of course, slight differences in the games: 'Chop Suey' had no real "jail" in the middle, nor was there any $$$ given for passing 'Go.' Also, the cheapest properties usually consisted of some sort of laundry or dry cleaner, with the 'Boardwalk' being Mr. Chow's Chop Suey on Kearny Street. And to be sure, playing 'Chop Suey' meant involvement with much more corruption than its better known counterpart, including gambling in the back of many of the 'chop suey house' properties, and many a game often unfortunately ended in a fistfight, due to the intensity and passion generated by the quest for control of Chinatown.

The game, 'Chop Suey', has now been out of circulation for some years now, and of course, good old fashioned chop suey houses are basically a thing of the past. But when it comes to hard nosed Darwinian capitalism, Oriental style, there was no better game and no more appropriate way to spend a Saturday.

"Here's to yer health, 'Chop Suey!"

Francis Schaeffer Test

Here's another one of those tests I ran across on the world wide web---take it and record your scores!

Are you Francis Schaeffer? Take this quick test to find out!

1. When you are invited to someone's home and see a nice tea set with cups arranged on the table, you would most likely say:

A. Oh, what a nice tea set.

B. My grandmother had a set like that.

C. Give me some tea!

D. Smash the phonograph!

"C" is the correct answer. If you answered "D" you may also be Francis Schaeffer in a different "plane of being."

2. Your house is most likely:

A. Ranch style.

B. English tudor.

C. Swiss chalet with an "upper storey" and a "lower storey."

D. One with no frames whatsoever.

Once again, "C" is the proper answer. Of course, if you answered "D" you may be Mondrian.

3. Your idea of a great vacation is:

A. Hiking in the Grand Canyon.

B. Diving and snorkeling off the coast of Hawaii.

C. Going on a Mediterranean cruise with an atheist and asking him if his wife is "really there."

D. Playing golf with Billy Graham and Wayne Alderson.

Finally, "C" is the correct response. If you answered "D", you may well be R.C. Sproul.

That's all! Editor's note: there were only 3 questions because any more would constitute a "final experience".

Additional editor's note: The above may be fairly incomprehensible to those unfamiliar with the writings of the late Dr. Schaeffer, who was seriously one of the greatest Christian apologists of the 20th Century.

Top 20 List of Phobias

For what it's worth, here is the official list of the top 20 phobias reported to be suffered by Americans as listed in Zagat's Science Digest:

1. Acrophobia- Fear of Height
2. Adreiaphobia- Fear of Width
3. Claustrophobia- Fear of Closed Spaces
4. Ocarophobia- Fear of Open Spaces
5. Egrephobia- Fear of Slightly Ajar Spaces
6. Agoraphobia- Fear of the Marketplace
7. Gastragophobia- Fear of the Winn-Dixie*
8. Arachnophobia- Fear of Spiders
9. Rooseveltophobia- Fear of Fear Itself
10. Mortaphobia- Fear of Death
11. Vocabiphobia- Fear of Public Speaking
12. Mortavocabiphobia- Fear of Giving the Eulogy
13. Aerophobia- Fear of Flying
14. Aeroflotiphobia- Fear of Crashing
15. Bellaphobia- Fear of War
16. Pacephobia- Fear of Peace
17. Tolstoyiphobia- Fear of War and Peace
18. Xenophobia- Fear of Foreigners
19. Classicrockophobia- Fear of Foreigner
20. Compulsophobia- Fear of Not Completing a "Top 20" List

*-listed as Fear of the Safeway in states outside of the Southern U.S.

I realize that there may be much disagreement with this list, some of it vehement, but email your complaints to Zagats and not to me.

"I used to know a dyslexic with delusions of grandeur who went around telling everyone that he was Leon Pano."-Anon.

Solving the Energy Crunch

Although gasoline prices have sort of stabilized a bit in the past week or so, the cost of filling one's tank is still putting a huge dent in the wallet. I agree with the view that gives credence to both consumptive conservation, both individual and corporate, as well as additional drilling for oil in and around our great country with its vast resources, much of which is of yet untapped. It's obvious that we cannot continue to rely upon the crumbs which OPEC tosses to us.

Current technological approaches to the solution through hybrid fuel vehicles, various types of hybrid fuels (sugarcane probably better than corn, etc.) and improved combustion engines which get many more miles to the gallon than is usual in most vehicles, are encouraging though. I share Reagan's optimism as to the caliber of our American brainpower (as given through God's grace of course)

Let's just hope the fuel situation does not approach levels of wartime Britian when even members of the professional class in affluent Whitehall in London were forced to find alternative means of transportation for commute to their places of employment.

Welcome to my Weblog.

I created this weblog purely by accident, but I've always enjoyed commenting on others' blogs so I'll try my hand at my own. I hope to post some interesting things here from time to time, while also trying to figure out how to technically maintain this weblog and refrain from embarrassing myself. I'll also probably change the font and other things from time to time because I haven't yet figured out how to actually edit a post without deleting it in its entirety.