Saturday, August 30, 2008

In Search Of Bobby Fischer


The world of chess has taken a backseat in the media in the past few years, especially compared to glamour of yesteryear as regards the sport. In 1972, when Bobby Fischer beat Boris Spassky, millions across the world were riveted to their television as ABC's Jim McKay announced every move. Earlier still, 'old-timers' will not soon forget the tension of the old 'Soviet Test Matches' in which stalwarts such as Mikhail Tal and Mikhail Botvinnik dueled to the death in 1960, every move of which was broadcast over the radio airwaves, and families from Leningrad to Cedar Rapids, Iowa planned their suppers and dinners around the matches and listened intently with their Philco radio.

However, as with everything else, much has changed, and even the great Garry Kasparov now spends most of his time denouncing (probably heroically and correctly) President Putin, rather than slicing up unfortunate opponents with his famous Queens Gambit Declined. There are a few bright spots on the chess horizon however, one of which is a bright up and coming star from the hills of eastern Kentucky, of all places. Jimmy Ray Hayley (pictured above, at left) is a raw, untamed chess player which some have compared to the great Fischer in his prime. While not sharing Fischer's schizophrenia or virulent anti-Semitism, Hayley has displayed an unfortunate weakness for Falstaff beer, and eating obscene quantites of pork brisket and hoop cheese. Hayley also has a marked tendency to engage in needless 'trash talk' after he smashes his opponent, often through a clearly marked 'Scholars Mate'.

Hayley has won his divisions easily, and hopes to travel to Moscow this fall in order to 'throw down the gauntlet' to the great Kasparov, possibly for a best 3 out of 4 match set. Check your local ESPN listings for the possible times, because you will kick and claw yourself if you miss it.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Chop Suey Made Purely By Occident.


The other day while surveying my vast estate, I happened upon and dusted off the old boardgame, "Chop Suey", which was an exhilarating Chinese-American version of the old Parker Brothers classic, "Monopoly." The object of "Chop Suey" was to acquire as many Chop Suey restaurants in San Francisco's famous 'Chinatown,' while crushing all competition. Instead of a racecar, Scottie dog, thimble, tophat and cane, the tokens employed by 'Chop Suey' consisted of a rickshaw, Shi Tzu, fortune cookie, pair of black horned rimmed glasses, and expertly tailored Hong Kong suit, among other things.

There were, of course, slight differences in the games: 'Chop Suey' had no real "jail" in the middle, nor was there any $$$ given for passing 'Go.' Also, the cheapest properties usually consisted of some sort of laundry or dry cleaner, with the 'Boardwalk' being Mr. Chow's Chop Suey on Kearny Street. And to be sure, playing 'Chop Suey' meant involvement with much more corruption than its better known counterpart, including gambling in the back of many of the 'chop suey house' properties, and many a game often unfortunately ended in a fistfight, due to the intensity and passion generated by the quest for control of Chinatown.

The game, 'Chop Suey', has now been out of circulation for some years now, and of course, good old fashioned chop suey houses are basically a thing of the past. But when it comes to hard nosed Darwinian capitalism, Oriental style, there was no better game and no more appropriate way to spend a Saturday.

"Here's to yer health, 'Chop Suey!"