2009 European Television Schedule

The European TV (EuroTV) council has completed the 2009 European TV lineup and here are few samples from various countries within the orbit:

Editors' Note: The first two shows are excellent and the others are all terrible, just plain terrible. Stick with American TV instead!
--Available on Digital Satellite------

1. Hungary- "Fiddlin' Janos and Karolda"--- in this hourly melodrama laced with Magyar humour, the main character is an "old-timey" Hungarian fiddler (Janos, expertly played by Milos Czodly) who quit speaking in 1977 and communicates only through the fiddle. Not a few political overtones here, but even Western Europeans and Americans can enjoy the fiddle.

2. Spain- "Lambasto!"-- the late King Carlos II is throughly sliced, diced and made sport of in every way as this edgy irreverent humourous 30 minute Spanish comedy premieres on Feb. 1. Even those who are totally unfamiliar with King Carlos II will appreciate good old fashioned ridicule.

3. Ukraine- "Who Will Win 5000 Rubles To-day?"--a Ukrainian version of the U.S. game show hit which features Yuri Velnegov, a veteran of the old Soviet chess matches, rudely barking out question after question to the unfortunate guests. No multiple choices are allowed and the ruble is devalued enough to render the entire escapade altogether worthless and a waste of one's time and energy. Watch "Moscow Feud" instead.

4. Finland- "Monday Morning Quarterbacking"-- a half-hearted tribute to Howard Cosell, although it becomes increasingly clear after about the first 10 minutes that the Finns know next to nothing about American football.

5. Turkey- "Iron Lung"--a Turkish version of the American cooking channel show "Iron Chef" which instead features various contestants trying to out-smoke each other. It ain't cool.

6. Northern Siberia- "The Andy Griffith Show"-- reruns in syndication in Northern Siberia 4 times a day, 7 days a week. Interesting sidebar: The rugged Siberian audience loves Floyd the Barber and is indifferent to Gomer. They also hate the color ones with Howard Sprague and Warren. But then again we all hate those Sprague/Warren ones too. We're not so different after all.

7. Azerbajain- "Howard Hawke's Raw Deal"- This is a borrowed concept based on Mannix and Barnaby Jones. Waste of time. However, actor Rupert Smallington-Rudge speaks perfect, if clipped for Arabic censors, BBC British.

8. Vatican City- "St. Cristilo's Place"- Fun, games, comedy, sketchwork and Catholic doctrine is dished out every day at 3:00 right after Sanford and Son in syndications.

9. Germany- "Zum Geinhoeferderbinder"- This hour long yawner translates into Nyquil. 20 or so fast cars around a track, an occasional shoot out and techno music. Even the occasional guest appearance by Maximillan Schell helps not.

10. Poland- "It Is Now The Time For Flashback"- Nostalgia reins supreme as historical events and Lech Walesa soundbites and outtakes are made into a 39 minute video soup for those who love the past and who are condemned to repeat it. The Beatles on the Ed Sullivan show are shown occasionally.